Today I wrapped upAnnihilationby Jeff VanderMeer, a horror/sci-fi novel with fantastical (?) elements about a biologist exploring a very unsettling landscape.
There are no names given in this book—the narrator and protagonist is simply "the Biologist," and she refers to her other three teammates by their job titles as well. Locations outside of the place they're exploring—Area X—are not given either, but the world is implied to be much the same as our own, with Area X a troubling and relatively recent anomaly. A private company hires the Biologist and her colleagues to venture into this strange place and take notes. They are the 12th such expedition.
I appreciate that much of the horror inAnnihilation isn't in-your-face: it's the slow build of things that are justoff. This quiet and subtle approach means that when something extreme happens, itfeelsextreme. The Biologist and her colleagues know that Area X is dangerous before they venture in, but even so, they are unprepared forhowand to what degree. VanderMeer's portrayal of how trust frays among relative strangers under these conditions felt realistic.
Oh, no, no. She doesn't do it to Bruce. She does it to the Joker.
They're at a televised charity gala, making the rounds. All the usual glitz and glam. Miss Piggy has just left to powder her snout when the shooting starts, and cries to "get down on the ground now!" reverberate through the room. It's almost half expected that the night is going to end in a hostage situation. It's Gotham, for Christ's sake. But no one's expecting the Joker. He's supposed to be in Arkham. The Bats just put him there. He shouldn't be out already.
Bruce is stalling for time, trying to give the Boy Wonder and all his other kids time to get to them. He's stammering, hands in the air, offering to pay whatever the Joker wants if he'll let all these people go. Except the Joker doesn't take ransoms. He barely takes prisoners. And he's got a gun aimed squarely at Bruce Wayne's forehead.
But Bruce keeps trying, inching forward on his knees, hands behind his head. Trying to figure out how much he can get away with in a room full of all these fucking cameras. He's going to get shot. He already knows it. It's just a question of whether he can duck and make sure it goes through his shoulder and not his head. Christ, he fucking hates guns.
"Come on," Bruce says, trying his hardest to sound both scared and amenable. "Everyone has a price. Name yours."
The Joker laughs, gesturing grandly with his free hand. "Tell you what, Brucie-boy, you'll get a price when pigs fly!"
The sound of enraged hoofs striking off marble makes itself known. A deep, guttural squeal tears through the night. The kind that hunters of old knew to fear and keep at the end of a long spear. The Joker turns just in time to see Miss Piggy flying through the air. Eyes red. Tusks bared. Hand raised. "HIIIIIII-YA!"
Jim Gordon's outside, preparing to launch a frontal assault, when the news comes in over the radio. He listens, shouldering the radio against his ear as he pulls a cigarette case out of his pocket. "To shreds, you say? What about the henchmen? To shreds, you say..."
Does this mean Bruce Wayne/Batman would be Kermit?
Oh, no. You gotta read the original post. Bruce Wayne is Miss Piggy and Kermit's side piece. I don't... it's been a wild 24 hours.
Okay, but the best part of this is that Bruce Wayne's inner thoughts are in Batman mode, which indicates that this is either
A) A running gag in The Muppets Take Gotham that Bruce Wayne might actually be Batman but the Muppets keep saving the day before he can change into costume (maybe a play on the matching butts?)
Or
B) Bruce Wayne brought Miss Piggy Lee and her puppeteer to the gala and the puppeteer's "notice-me-not" skill is so powerful that literally nobody, not even Joker, noticed they were there.
Oh, but can you imagine the reaction of the puppeteer once they're finally off shift if it's the latter?
Miss Piggy's Puppeteer (MPP): Holy shit, I think I just beat up the Joker? And his minions? And survived?? *starts hyperventilating as delayed reaction kicks in*
Other Puppeteer (OP): I saw that on the news, how did you do that?
MPP: Well, you know how we're trained to always be "on" when we've got our puppets, right?
OP: Yeah, and?
MPP: And you know that Miss Piggy graduated from that charm-slash-martial arts school and holds a purple belt...
OP: Oh no...
MPP: And that she's a real diva and can't stand somebody getting more screen time than her...
OP, burying face in hands: oh no...
MPP: Oh yeah. One second she's admiring herself in the mirror, the next second her "losing center stage" alarm goes off. The next thing I know, we're in the middle of a crowd of clown-faced thugs and she's "hiii-yah!"ing and taking out grown men five times her size while I'm just trying to keep up with her and wondering if I'm hallucinating that we just took out the Joker.
OP: Holy shit is right.
MPP: Yeah, my heart's still racing when I realize how close I came to dying.
OP: What did the police do to you?
MPP, looking absolutely shattered while giving a single laugh: That's... That's the worst part. Our teachers would be so proud.
OP: Oh no, you mean?
MPP: Yeah, they thanked Miss Piggy for her assistance, got into a ten minute debate as to whether it was legal to bring a pig in for further questioning, and finally released her from the scene. One officer slipped her his number.
OP: And you?
MPP: They didn't notice me at all. Afterwards, Bruce came over to thank her and kissed her hand and we continued into the gala like nothing had happened.
OP: And even he didn't stop to check on you?
MPP, laughing brokenly and scrubbing a hand down their face while slowly starting to give a shaken smile: Not even a single flicker of an eyelid. I've done it. I can't believe it. After so many years, I am finally one with The Pig.
OP, patting their back: Well at least there's that to celebrate. Want to go get a drink?
Willow: Buffy. Don’t let jerky Parker chase you away.
Buffy: He didn’t. I just don’t want to deal with this right now. I’m taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of not coping.
sylvanwitch here: 135 words of an alibi fragment. It was a long morning of editing student revisions, which seems to have given me a headache, so I'm happy I managed that many words, honestly.
[image description: a reddit post in r/LawyerTalk by u/auksboccoli titled, “My nemesis died and I miss them.” the post says:
Who will schedule emails for dinner time on Easter Sunday to tell me I’m an unethical mercenary of a lawyer and a disgrace to the profession? Who will call me a dick just loud of enough for the jury to hear but not the judge? Who will I engage with in an increasingly personal series of attacks in filings until the judge orders us both to take six hours of CLE on professionalism?
That recurring six-month reminder to make an anonymous complaint to the bar about his alcoholism and dementia will need to be deleted.
No more will I be able to reply to his incoherent 2 am emails with his DWI mugshot and a plea for him to get professional counseling.
I had invested so much energy into our relationship, and now he’s gone. Worst of all, the bastard died without me getting that overwhelming victory that finally broke his spirit I’d fantasized about for years.
Goodbye, you gin-soaked, semi-literate munchkin. Only now do I realize how much you meant to me.
Luna's appetite has been a bit poor lately. It got real bad the last few days and getting her to eat was a bit of a struggle, offering her food again and again after several little breaks. (For practical reasons who are stripy and voracious, we can't allow Luna to just have food available always for grazing) It has been to the point where I have started to prepare myself that we might be approaching the end. She is 14 after all. Not very old, but definitely not young either and with vulnerable kidneys.
Today she delivered an enormous hairball.
No wonder she had trouble eating with that inside her. I wouldn't say her appetite was fully returned this evening, but she did eat half again as much as she did this morning.
She's due a vet visit soon for kidney and oral status, so we'll bring it up then. I should like her to reach at least 16, but am still prepared this may not be possible.
Still, she ate a LOT this evening. More, actually, than her usual portion. I think she's allowed to feel a bit stuffed now.
Theme Prompt: #270 – Pride Title: In Two Minds Fandom: Doctor Who Rating/Warnings: PG Bonus: Yes. Word Count: 1000 Summary: The Doctor thinks he’s always right, but when there are two of them, each with their own ideas on the right course of action, it can lead to arguments.
RECOMMENDED: The Blacksmith Queen by G.A. Aiken is $3.99! (Or free with KU!) This was my one pick for hilarious reading in our Ready Set Go. I also gave this an A-. Seriously, it’s so much fun:
The Blacksmith Queen is a bloody, feminist romp that exudes girl power in all forms, and I’m envious of its fantasy girl squad.
When a prophesy brings war to the Land of the Black Hills, Keeley Smythe must join forces with a clan of mountain warriors who are really centaurs in a thrilling new fantasy romance series from New York Times bestselling author G.A. Aiken.
The Old King Is Dead
With the demise of the Old King, there’s a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king’s sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it’s all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.
Luckily, Keeley doesn’t have to fight alone. Because thundering to her aid comes a clan of kilt-wearing mountain warriors called the Amichai. Not the most socially adept group, but soldiers have never bothered Keeley, and rough, gruff Caid, actually seems to respect her. A good thing because the fierce warrior will be by her side for a much longer ride than any prophesy ever envisioned…
Love at First Book by Jenn McKinlay is $1.99! I’m only seeing the sale at Amazon, but hopefully it’ll be price-matched. The heroine is a librarian, who gets the opportunity to help her favorite author with writer’s block.
When a librarian moves to a quaint Irish village where her favorite novelist lives, the last thing she expects is to fall for the author’s prickly son… until their story becomes one for the books, from the New York Times bestselling author of Summer Reading.
Emily Allen, a librarian on Martha’s Vineyard, has always dreamed of a life of travel and adventure. So when her favorite author, Siobhan Riordan, offers her a job in the Emerald Isle, Emily jumps at the opportunity. After all, Siobhan’s novels got Em through some of the darkest days of her existence.
Helping Siobhan write the final book in her acclaimed series—after a ten-year hiatus due to a scorching case of writer’s block—is a dream come true for Emily. If only she didn’t have to deal with Siobhan’s son, Kieran Murphy. He manages Siobhan’s bookstore, and the grouchy bookworm clearly doesn’t want Em around.
When Siobhan’s health takes a bad turn, she’s more determined than ever to finish her novel, while Kieran tries every trick in the book to get his mother to rest. Thrown into the role of peacemaker, Emily begins to see that Kieran’s heart is in the right place. Torn between helping Siobhan find closure with her series and her own growing feelings for the mercurial Irishman, Emily will have to decide if she’s truly ready to turn a new page and figure out what lies in the next chapter.
The Groom List by Ella Quinn is $2.99! This one, as of right now, is also another Amazon-only discount. This is book three in The Worthington Brides historical romance series.
In a Season filled with surprises, the irrepressible Worthingtons welcome thrilling new love matches into their lively extended family . . .
Intelligent. Kind. Must like children. Passable looks. A man of means. Must make us laugh . . .
For Lady Alice Carpenter, these are some of the “musts” on the checklist for eligible bachelors compiled with her sisters as they husband-hunt among the ton. Yet when she encounters a striking nobleman on her morning ride in Hyde Park, Alice soon tallies another list of first impressions . . .
Shallow. Flirtatious. Without seriousness of purpose. Impossible to avoid . . .
Gifford, the Marquis of St. Albans, must wed in order to wrest his estate from his controlling father. How hard could it be to snag a suitable match? Waltzing with lovely Lady Alice at the Season’s whirl of balls and soirees however, defies Giff’s expectations: his dance moves are smooth but their small talk is excruciating—he offers up gossip sheet tidbits while she interrogates him on his charitable works—or lack thereof!
Charming. Amusing. Irresistible . . . A disastrous idea?
Alice is willing to entertain the possibility that there is more to the man than meets the eye—though what meets the eye is quite attractive. But when Giff’s true character is tested, she realizes it takes more than a list to reveal the heart of a worthy and honorable gentleman . . .
All the Kings Men bundle by Kennedy Ryan is $2.51 at Amazon and $2.99 elsewhere! This collects the first two book in the All the King’s Men series, which follows the same couple. There’s also a bonus epilogue.
From beloved, RITA-award-winning author Kennedy Ryan comes her gripping All the King’s Men duology.
The Kingmaker
In a world of haves and have-nots, Maxim Cade’s family and their oil empire have it all…and he wants nothing to do with it. At odds with his mogul father, he’s determined to build his own empire, even if it means traveling far from home, painted as the black sheep.
Lennix Hunter is the exception to every one of Maxim’s rules. At a protest for the oil pipeline that threatens to mar her ancestral land forever, they meet in a flurry of stars and sparks, and that one moment changes everything. But Maxim’s family is the one stealing from hers, and his father is the man she hates most. He has to lie in order to have her once, and despite the truth, he’ll do anything to keep her.
Even though Lennix tries to hate Maxim, too, their hearts are pointed in the same direction. The inexorable pull between them, across miles and years, will not be denied.
And neither will Maxim.
The Rebel King
Though surrender is what Maxim Cade demanded of Lennix Hunter’s body and heart, she had other plans. They were fast-burning fascination and combustible chemistry, the son of an oil baron and the Apache daughter at war with his family, but she trusted him, and he turned out to be a thief who stole her love.
Still, if what they had was a lie, why had it felt so real?
Now, the man she swore to hate is about to have it all, and he wants Lennix at his side. But when the two of them are forced to face the unthinkable, their rocky foundation is tested, as is the invisible thread that seems to wind their fates together. As they navigate a treacherous political landscape in their quest for justice, Maxim and Lennix soon learn that power is a game, and they are merely the pawns and players. Facing insurmountable odds, will they win the world, or will they lose it all?
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I hit Walmart while I was downtown and got in a walk around the park. I did a load of laundry (washed, dried AND folded!!), hand-washed dishes, placed an on-line order, scooped kitty litter, and shaved.
I stopped at the library to talk to the librarian about a series we’re both reading and picked up a book. (It’s one I requested on a whim and I hope my interest lasts long enough for me to actually read it.) I also finished the Amelia Peabody book.
Imgur was not loading properly for me today, which is annoying because I have so many pics I want to share!!
Temps started out at 63.5(F) and reached 84.0. I realized this morning that the haze and overcast skies of the past few days have probably actually been smoke coming in from the fires in Canada. I really frelling hate climate change and the fact that so many people are still denying that it’s a problem.
Mom Update:
Mom was doing okay today. Better than I expected after last night’s phone call, but not as good as she could be. ( more back here )
Today's post is ICHH's "Dogwhistle Politics and Nazi Code Hunting." Gare and Mia take a deep dive into what is, superficially, a comparatively minor issue—that of conspiratorial thinking on the left. They take as their jumping off point a tweet from the Gestapo featuring John Gast's "American Progress." It's an overtly fascist tweet because the artwork itself celebrates the genocide of Indigenous peoples, and the text reinforces that the poster thinks that this genocide is a good thing, and also because an overtly fascist organization that is currently carrying out a genocide tweeted it. If they'd tweeted a picture of kittens, it would still be a fascist tweet, because it is a fascist organization posting on a platform owned by fascists. Nevertheless, certain segments of the extremely online left and liberals have convinced themselves that there are also secret fascist messages in the tweet.
The basic thesis of the episode is, "no, you fools, they don't need to dogwhistle anymore because they are in power and doing fascism." But there's another, even more important point here, which is that we're all still basically stuck in 2016-7 and we need to be updating both our thinking and our strategies. I feel a certain way about this because for all that I mocked it back in the day, conspiratorial thinking worked very well for the right, and I sort of disagree with Gare and Mia that it won't reach a particular type of low-information voter who likes to feel privy to exciting secret knowledge. But also, it is counterproductive and has people who might otherwise be useful and productive chasing their tails playing numerology on X, the Everything App.
At any rate, it's an interesting psychological insight and as someone who is not immune from Extremely Online Thinking, it's a useful check-in.
Last night I was joylessly reading until way too late in bed, and then after I put my phone down, I suddenly started to notice my throat hurt a bit.
Now, I do have a perfume allergy that has caused my throat to swell mostly-closed in the past, but only about 5(?)x in the past 20 years, and only after a Lot (the perfume has to be concentrated close to my nose and mouth probably).
And yes, yesterday I had tried a new curl-reviving spray and I had been mildly annoyed by its perfume all day, but it hadn't irritated my nose right away the way dangerous perfumes (and also many others) do.
So when I started to worry that the product was causing an allergic reaction that might make my throat swell closed and kill me in my sleep, this was extremely unlikely for several reasons: the perfume had already proven itself not similar to ones that caused a reaction before, and also that's not really how anaphylaxis works, probably?
But my throat hurt and every perfume I could smell seemed to be aggravating it. So I decided that getting up at 3 am and showering all the perfumed products off would be a better use of my time than going downstairs to take antihistamines, painkillers, and a benzo. I shampooed my hair three times and combed conditioner through it in the shower, then put a folded towel on my pillow and slept on it after towel-drying, without applying my usual leave-in.
My throat feels a little better but still irritated today, and I took loratidine and paracetamol with breakfast. I wonder why my throat got irritated, though. I hope I'm not getting sick, but probably not; the last time I went to the store was Wednesday, so the incubation period for a respiratory infection wouldn't match up very well.
Amanda picked this month’s issue and so we are journeying back to July 2016!
We tackle vague reviews that tell us no things.
I try to coin a new portmanteau!
We come up with the most unhinged romance bingo squares ever – tell us if we should use them!
We have some plot summaries that are a RIDE, folks.
Hop into our newly refurbished time machine – we needed a bigger drinks fridge – and let’s look at the July 2016 new releases!
…
Inspired by other Patreon folks, including Chris DeRosa at Fixing Famous People, I’ve made some of the Patreon content free so you can sample what we’ve got.
This collection of special previews is available now to all listeners, and there’s a link in the show notes to dive in. And if you like our free samples, join us in the Patreon community where there’s bonus content and more.
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