Rambling Down the Boulevard,

Title: history's longest suicide note
Chapter Link: Chapter Three
Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix 2017)
Pairings: Adrien Tepes | Alucard/Sypha Belnades/Trevor Belmont
Summary: It takes them a year to realize they're fucked.
Notes: So this is in response to episode 8, which never happened, Alucard, Sypha, and Trevor are in love and also the apocalypse is happening. Finally! Chapter 3 was delayed 'cause of mental health stuff and also 'cause I could not get the goddamn thing to settle. I edited it approximately eight million times, rewrote it start to finish twice, and still don't love it. It's terribly transitional. C'est la vie. I hope you guys like it.

I'm going to be posing every other wednesday from here on out, so Feb 6th for the next chapter.

Read it on AO3

Day 8
In your own space, post self-recs for at least three fanworks that you created. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
AKA shameless self-promotion day. SO three fanworks.

1. history's longest suicide note: Netflix!Castlevania. OT3 fic that ignores episode 8 and also the apocalypse happens. Incomplete. 2/?? published. This is my latest project and one I'm pretty excited about. It's also the single fic I've written the most words for so that's cool. 
2. dear forgiveness,: A Supergirl AU series where Kara is nine years late instead of twenty-five and is raised by the Kents alongside Clark. It's a verse that I have a ton of ideas for and plan on returning to over time and adding to it. 
3. thursday's child: this is a one shot where I codified all my feelings about Skye Daisy Johnson's background and tried to justify the season 3 name switch.

Got a comment of history's longest suicide note pointing out that coffee drinking is anachronistic and I figured I'd write some meta on it. 

+

SO I did actually consider throwing in a line about a speaker caravan having carried it back from the east and Sypha getting into it then but decided not to for two reasons. One is the handwavey something like 50% of castlevania is anachronistic, do not get me started on Trevor’s short sword it makes me want to tear my hair out, and therefore other anachronisms are more or less acceptable. 

Two, though, is the one I actually thought about, so hold on to your socks. So my theory of the castlevania world is that it doesn’t track with our historical development for three reasons.

1. Vlad Tepes the historical figure was born between 1428-1431 and died between 1476-1477. The action in the series kicks off with Lise’s appearance at the castle in 1455 and Dracula is explicitly stated as having been hundreds (if not thousands) of years old when he meets her, which means who knows what else they’ve messed with. 
2. Magic! They have magic that allows people to farsee, to teleport, and as sypha demonstrated the ability to use magic to clear land. Extrapolating from that I suspect they have lots of mundane uses for magic (building roads and house, creating timber, heating water, etc.) Because of those two factors I suspect that Castlevania’s world in 1475 was much smaller than ours was at the same time period. 
3. They clearly have some concept of globalism. Dracula’s generals are supposed to represent, as far as I can tell the Viking/Celts- Godbrand. India/Pakistan region- the female general in the headdress and sari? I think it’s a sari and the male general in turban. Hector is greek and Isaac is african. I personally like the idea of Moroccan!Isaac but I’m open to arguments there, and wiki tells me the disappearing female vampire’s name was Cho, which is a Korean surname. So I fall on the side of the argument that they haven extensive land networks. (And the reason that there are no New World Vampires is that they can’t cross the ocean to get there.) 

So I decided that Sypha as a nomad would have encountered coffee either through her own travels or be trading with another speaker caravan. Alucard, I decided was introduced to it by his mother, who got addicted when she first starting living with Dracula and he refused to tailor his hours to a human. So Lise discovered coffee as a way to make it through all the all-nighters she had to pull- Dracula’s Magical Kitchen has Everything, and never quite kicked the habit after. (Her pregnancy incidentally was the Actual Worst because she went eight months cold turkey. Her first request after naming Adrien was for a cup.)

My headcanon for Trevor is that after the Belmont Estate went up in flames, he did the whole soldier of fortune thing and never had the money for coffee and the few times he did, he spent it on booze instead. So Sypha and Alucard are both a little addicted and expect a cup in the mornings and Trevor takes good care of his husband and wife team by providing it to them. 

I have examined the evidence and come to the horrifying conclusion that Trevor is the most competent adult in the OT3.